Thrash Hits

December 11th, 2008

2008 into 2009: Cauldron

Canadian metallers, Cauldron are the latest signings to the most awesomely-named record label around. Singer/bassist Jason Decay and guitarist Ian Chains tell us about the best ways to talk funny and look at boobs.

cauldron toronto metal band canada promo photo thrash hits

What was your highlight of 2008?
J: Going to the titty breakfast in Montreal after a rad gig with Twisted Tower Dire. The waitresses are completely naked taking your order and serving your food. They seriously brought my food with their snatch in plain view – it was awesome! I wore my sunglasses so I could really get my money’s worth!
I: We were eating all kinds of shitty food and talking with southern accents. The locals thought we were Metallica. Also, we finally recorded our first full-length album Chained to the Nite, which we are itching for people to hear. Could be crabs though. Other than that just the usual drinking our faces off, going to church, and hunting witches.

What is your funniest tour story of 2008?
I: Basically anything involving Steel Rider [Cauldron drummer]; our buddy Craig laying on the horn at old people; Jason sniffing his fingers in the van after banging chicks; pulling up to various hotels to steal complimentary breakfast items and leaving before any questions are asked; and talking like Al Chambers.
J: Talking with French-Canadian accents to southern people and sliding the van door open in front of hot chicks and yelling at them to get in the van!

What’s the worst thing that happened to you in 2008?
I: Driving over a median into oncoming traffic. Doubling to and from practice because we can’t afford another bike. And puke!

Who in 2008 deserves a good kicking?
J: Metallica and Guns N’ Roses.

Who had the best comeback: Metallica, AC/DC, or Guns N’ Roses?
J: AC/DC.

What are you most looking forward to in 2009?
I: Superstardom, being in all the gossip mags, releasing an album so heavy you can’t get it off the turntable, and coming back to Europe because everything is better there, right? I want it to be like it was for Dokken in ’84.

What band should everyone find out about in 2009?
J: Most of the bands coming out on the Heavy Metal Killers compilation, I’m really looking forward to that, there seems to be a lot of great exciting bands coming out of the woods!

What do you want for Christmas?
J: A new pair of soft-sole slippers.

Who do you want to get under the mistletoe?
J: That chick from the show Weeds and/or a bunch of chicks that I work with at Sears.

Do you have any special traditions for Christmas or New Year?
J: Not unless they want to hear about drunken family fighting.
I: Yeah, we usually prefer to spend the holidays with our miserable families screaming at each other. Also, we’ve been known to enjoy the odd game of Scrabble. Season’s Greasings!
J: Happy Halloween!

Where will you be on New Year’s Eve?
J: In front of the stereo with an endless supply of beer.

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Cauldron will release their Earache Records debut, Chained To The Nite, in early 2009.

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AC/DC 5
G’n’R 0
‘Tallica 8

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