Thrash Hits

October 6th, 2009

Album: Austrian Death Machine – Double Brutal

Austrian Death Machien promo photo Thrash Hits

Austrian Death Machine
Double Brutal
Metal Blade
29 September 2009

by Tom Gibbons

For As I Lay Dying vocalist Tim Lambesis, downtime in his hectic schedule means recording and releasing another solo album entirely dedicated to Arnold Schwarzenegger movies….and stereotypical metal. Austrian Death Machine has so mehow returned for a second album.

Austrian Death Machine Double Brutal artwork cover packshot Thrash Hits

What’s more, Double Brutal is in fact a double disc of light-hearted nonsense – the kind that should immediately share a place alongside Arnie’s man-mum blooper ‘Junior’ in your local “record” shop’s bargain bin. Disc 1 kicks off well-enough with a cheering ‘I Need Your Clothes, Your Boots, and Your Motorcycle’, but a couple of very average thrashy-metalcore ‘toons’ later and you’re mulling over which is worse – the songs or the skits that separate them.

Disc 2 of Double Brutal is essentially a selection of covers with some sort of vague relation to Arnie films…..although why you’d ever want to hear a lazy rendition of Metallica’s ‘Trapped Under Ice’ (Arnie connection: the risable ‘Batman and Robin’) with metalcore vocals and shit drum programming, we’re still not entirely sure.

A couple of the skits may raise a smile, especially when ‘Ahhhnold’ (played by Chad Ackerman of Destroy the Runner) admits to “blabbing about Mars”, or when he demands each snare drum hit is replaced with the sound of rifle fire, but sadly it won’t be enough to remove the face-cringe you’ll be sporting by the end of this record.

Watch something far more entertaining than anything from ‘Double Brutal’:

Perhaps Lambesis could have reduced the track count, and shifted the focus to song quality rather than the misjudged comedic effects, and created a more memorable experience. Instead all we’ve got is an injustice to the majesty of The Governator and his legendary filmography. Go back to your day-job, Tim, and leave this business to ArnoCorps.

1/6

Sounds Like: this album might be better if you were really drunk at a party
Top Tracks: T2 Theme, Tactically Dangerous – Cannibal Commando, Let Off Some Steam Bennett

Austrian Death Machine – Double Brutal tracklisting
Disc 1
Double Ahhnold
I Need Your Clothes, Your Boots, and Your Motorcycle
Let Off Some Steam Bennett
Who Writes the Songs? (The Real Bomb Track)
It’s Simple, If it Jiggles it’s Fat
See You at the Party Richter
Hey Cookie Monster, Nothing is as Brutal as Neaahhh
Who Told You You Could Eat My Cookies?
Come on Cohaagen, Give Deez People Ehyar
Who is Your Daddy, and What Does He? 2
Come on, Do it, Do it, Come on, Come on, Kill me, Do It Now
Allow Me To Break The Ice
Conan, What is Best in Life?
Disc 2
Intro to the Intro
T2 Theme
Hell Bent for Leather (Judas Priest cover)
Time Travel: The Metallica Conspiracy
Trapped Under Ice (Metallica cover)
Iron Fist (Motörhead cover)
Recalling Mars
I Turned into a Martian (The Misfits cover)
Killing is My Business… and Business is Good! (Megadeth cover)
Tactically Dangerous – Cannibal Commando (Goretorture cover)
Gotta Go (Agnostic Front cover)


Comments

  • ?

    You fail at life.

  • ?

    You fail at life.

  • Damien

    Well that sucks, I loved this album. I thought it would get higher praise than this. Fuck Arnocorps anyway…

  • Damien

    Well that sucks, I loved this album. I thought it would get higher praise than this. Fuck Arnocorps anyway…

  • Damien

    Well that sucks, I loved this album. I thought it would get higher praise than this. Fuck Arnocorps anyway…

  • Anonymous

    Chad Ackerman does NOT do the voice of “Ahhnold” this time around. It’s voice actor and comedian Josh Robert Thompson (“Fake” Arnold from ‘The Howard Stern Show’).

  • Anonymous

    Chad Ackerman does NOT do the voice of “Ahhnold” this time around. It’s voice actor and comedian Josh Robert Thompson (“Fake” Arnold from ‘The Howard Stern Show’).

  • Anonymous

    Chad Ackerman does NOT do the voice of “Ahhnold” this time around. It’s voice actor and comedian Josh Robert Thompson (“Fake” Arnold from ‘The Howard Stern Show’).

  • Jack

    ArnoCorps blows. So does this review.

  • Jack

    ArnoCorps blows. So does this review.

  • Jack

    ArnoCorps blows. So does this review.

  • Fail

    Poser

  • Fail

    Poser

  • Fail

    Poser

  • ADM Rulz

    This album is the best suck it!

  • ADM Rulz

    This album is the best suck it!

  • ADM Rulz

    This album is the best suck it!

  • Paul

    Tom Gibbons who are you? you need to get your dick out you ass and enjoy life

  • Paul

    Tom Gibbons who are you? you need to get your dick out you ass and enjoy life

  • http://facefuck Paul

    Tom Gibbons who are you? you need to get your dick out you ass and enjoy life

  • Josh

    Review is pretty much spot on.

  • Josh

    Review is pretty much spot on.

  • Josh

    Review is pretty much spot on.

  • Pat

    Tom Gibbons, reading this review it’s clear that you have zero taste for quality music, and no sense of humor, while writing this review, were you sick because of all the semen that you swallowed the night before? Well, I hope you leave enough room for my fist, because I’m going to ram it into your stomach and break your goddamn spine!

  • Pat

    Tom Gibbons, reading this review it’s clear that you have zero taste for quality music, and no sense of humor, while writing this review, were you sick because of all the semen that you swallowed the night before? Well, I hope you leave enough room for my fist, because I’m going to ram it into your stomach and break your goddamn spine!

  • Pat

    Tom Gibbons, reading this review it’s clear that you have zero taste for quality music, and no sense of humor, while writing this review, were you sick because of all the semen that you swallowed the night before? Well, I hope you leave enough room for my fist, because I’m going to ram it into your stomach and break your goddamn spine!

  • http://www.thrashhits.com/ Raz

    You’ll get jizz all over your hand.

  • http://www.thrashhits.com/ Raz

    You’ll get jizz all over your hand.

  • http://www.thrashhits.com Raz

    You’ll get jizz all over your hand.

  • Migalhas

    No sense of humor, no taste in music, no review, this is probably one of the 10 worst reviews i’ve read in all my life, and believe me… i read reviews a lot… and not only that you not even know who does the new Arnold Schwarzenegger voice, so what does this mean? Fail at journalism? Well if you are a journalist and a music critic, you should rethink your profession. But then again… who the fuck are you? You are a nobody. Try working for MacDonald’s i’ve heard they are hiring incompetent people, you would SO suit the job description

  • Migalhas

    No sense of humor, no taste in music, no review, this is probably one of the 10 worst reviews i’ve read in all my life, and believe me… i read reviews a lot… and not only that you not even know who does the new Arnold Schwarzenegger voice, so what does this mean? Fail at journalism? Well if you are a journalist and a music critic, you should rethink your profession. But then again… who the fuck are you? You are a nobody. Try working for MacDonald’s i’ve heard they are hiring incompetent people, you would SO suit the job description

  • Migalhas

    No sense of humor, no taste in music, no review, this is probably one of the 10 worst reviews i’ve read in all my life, and believe me… i read reviews a lot… and not only that you not even know who does the new Arnold Schwarzenegger voice, so what does this mean? Fail at journalism? Well if you are a journalist and a music critic, you should rethink your profession. But then again… who the fuck are you? You are a nobody. Try working for MacDonald’s i’ve heard they are hiring incompetent people, you would SO suit the job description

  • Faggot

    faggot, fail review

  • Faggot

    faggot, fail review

  • Faggot

    faggot, fail review

  • johnnn

    Arnocorps suck, bunch of redneck hillbillies

  • johnnn

    Arnocorps suck, bunch of redneck hillbillies

  • johnnn

    Arnocorps suck, bunch of redneck hillbillies

  • D Boy

    For what it is I thought it was great. I laughed my ass off through out the entire album. It’s Simple If it Jiggles it’s FAT!

  • D Boy

    For what it is I thought it was great. I laughed my ass off through out the entire album. It’s Simple If it Jiggles it’s FAT!

  • D Boy

    For what it is I thought it was great. I laughed my ass off through out the entire album. It’s Simple If it Jiggles it’s FAT!

  • Paul

    Awful review.

  • Paul

    Awful review.

  • Paul

    Awful review.

  • Brad

    Bad review. Killer Album. F* you

  • Brad

    Bad review. Killer Album. F* you

  • Brad

    Bad review. Killer Album. F* you

  • anon

    I think you missed the whole point of the band. he says in his notes that its for fun and that arnold represents everything brutal and over the top. Arnocorps is boring as hell to listen to. I own the CD’s and i love them and i actually think these are surprisingly quality songs. you say lambesis should stick to his day job, i think you should quit yours because this review was awful

  • Adfs

    I think the fact that every comment here says you suck at life might be saying something

  • 45

    This album was fantastic, and the cover of Trapped Under Ice was fucking awesome. You’re just a dickhead.

  • 45

    This album was fantastic, and the cover of Trapped Under Ice was fucking awesome. You’re just a dickhead.

  • 45

    This album was fantastic, and the cover of Trapped Under Ice was fucking awesome. You’re just a dickhead.

  • 45

    This album was fantastic, and the cover of Trapped Under Ice was fucking awesome. You’re just a dickhead.

  • 45

    This album was fantastic, and the cover of Trapped Under Ice was fucking awesome. You’re just a dickhead.

  • 45

    This album was fantastic, and the cover of Trapped Under Ice was fucking awesome. You’re just a dickhead.

  • 45

    This album was fantastic, and the cover of Trapped Under Ice was fucking awesome. You’re just a dickhead.

  • mastema

    this band is horrible even as a “just for fun joke” band. could have kept it self-released and under the radar aside from friends and band members but he made it serious with ed repka cover art , featuring guest guitarists from other signed bands, label releases, etc etc etc.

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