Austrian Death Machine
29 September 2009
by Tom Gibbons
For As I Lay Dying vocalist Tim Lambesis, downtime in his hectic schedule means recording and releasing another solo album entirely dedicated to Arnold Schwarzenegger movies….and stereotypical metal. Austrian Death Machine has so mehow returned for a second album.
What’s more, Double Brutal is in fact a double disc of light-hearted nonsense – the kind that should immediately share a place alongside Arnie’s man-mum blooper ‘Junior’ in your local “record” shop’s bargain bin. Disc 1 kicks off well-enough with a cheering ‘I Need Your Clothes, Your Boots, and Your Motorcycle’, but a couple of very average thrashy-metalcore ‘toons’ later and you’re mulling over which is worse – the songs or the skits that separate them.
Disc 2 of Double Brutal is essentially a selection of covers with some sort of vague relation to Arnie films…..although why you’d ever want to hear a lazy rendition of Metallica’s ‘Trapped Under Ice’ (Arnie connection: the risable ‘Batman and Robin’) with metalcore vocals and shit drum programming, we’re still not entirely sure.
A couple of the skits may raise a smile, especially when ‘Ahhhnold’ (played by Chad Ackerman of Destroy the Runner) admits to “blabbing about Mars”, or when he demands each snare drum hit is replaced with the sound of rifle fire, but sadly it won’t be enough to remove the face-cringe you’ll be sporting by the end of this record.
Watch something far more entertaining than anything from ‘Double Brutal':
Perhaps Lambesis could have reduced the track count, and shifted the focus to song quality rather than the misjudged comedic effects, and created a more memorable experience. Instead all we’ve got is an injustice to the majesty of The Governator and his legendary filmography. Go back to your day-job, Tim, and leave this business to ArnoCorps.
Sounds Like: this album might be better if you were really drunk at a party
Top Tracks: T2 Theme, Tactically Dangerous – Cannibal Commando, Let Off Some Steam Bennett
Austrian Death Machine – Double Brutal tracklisting
I Need Your Clothes, Your Boots, and Your Motorcycle
Let Off Some Steam Bennett
Who Writes the Songs? (The Real Bomb Track)
It’s Simple, If it Jiggles it’s Fat
See You at the Party Richter
Hey Cookie Monster, Nothing is as Brutal as Neaahhh
Who Told You You Could Eat My Cookies?
Come on Cohaagen, Give Deez People Ehyar
Who is Your Daddy, and What Does He? 2
Come on, Do it, Do it, Come on, Come on, Kill me, Do It Now
Allow Me To Break The Ice
Conan, What is Best in Life?
Intro to the Intro
Hell Bent for Leather (Judas Priest cover)
Time Travel: The Metallica Conspiracy
Trapped Under Ice (Metallica cover)
Iron Fist (Motörhead cover)
I Turned into a Martian (The Misfits cover)
Killing is My Business… and Business is Good! (Megadeth cover)
Tactically Dangerous – Cannibal Commando (Goretorture cover)
Gotta Go (Agnostic Front cover)