Thrash Hits

March 9th, 2010

Heavy metal hamburgers? Don’t mind if I do…

grill em all hamburger heavy metal thrash hits

Apologies in advance to any of the Thrash Hits faithful who decline to feast upon the beautifully chargrilled remains of our hopefully four-legged friends but…

We thought we were being mildly celebratory and vaguely humourous when we wished you a Happy Heavy Metal Pancake Day but over in LA, a couple of meat-savvy metalheads have created “LA’s only heavy metal gourmet burger truck” and they’ve called it… GRILL ‘EM ALL. Genius.

There’s no point in us trying to explain the concept of Grill ‘Em All any better than a gourmet chef and wrestler now, is there.

Grill ‘Em All is steadfast in the belief that the heavy metal and culinary worlds were bound to collide one day in a victorious marriage of massive meat and riffage. Where better for this battle to commence than in the city of fallen angels? Los Angeles, your cries in the night have been answered. Cry no more!

Grill ‘Em All is led into the burger battle by the team of Chef Ryan Harkins and Matthew Chernus. The two have been allies and band mates for over twenty years. Ryan has paid his dues as a veteran of professional kitchens for over a decade. The combination of his fine dining background and strong Midwestern roots has left him with the desire to place a gourmet take on his first love, the hamburger. Dare to stop him!

Matthew is an ex-professional wrestler and he owns a megaphone. Need I say more on his behalf? I dare not in fear of being Liger Bombed through a barbed wire board with black widows and broken forties of King Cobra beneath.

Together they are ready to turn the key, they are ready to hit the streets, and they are ready to… GRILL ‘EM ALL!

With burgers on the menu with names like Molly Hatchet and Carcass, this has definitely got the thumbs up from us. Also, just as you are taxed heavily on wanton luxuries such as cigarettes and alcohol, there is $2 surcharge on any burger being made with a vegetarian patty. We don’t know what message this is sending out to those sensitive to the needs of the bovine community but we reckon this Facebook group says it all.

Here at Thrash Hits, we too recognised the synergy between metal and meat and quizzed many a metaller upon their choice of THE MOST METAL MEAT at Bloodstock Festival 2008. Mmmmeaty.

Despite being stunned with one of those cool machines from No Country For Old Men, cow’s can now die happy with the thought they’ll be in a heavy metal hamburger. It won’t be all grotty and riddled with STDs like the Intrepid Fox though, it’ll be gourmet. That means it has pickle. Possibly a choice of pickles.

Go check out the Grill ‘Em All website and next time you’re over in Los Angeles go and nail a Behemoth. HEAVY METAL NOM, BITCHES.

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