The nicest thing I’ve heard anyone say about The Blackout’s music is, “But… they’re lovely boys?” and, “It’s o…k.” This meant that instead of actively publicising the fact that we think their derivative emo drivel is a scourge on society that even The Hoosiers cannot compete with, we just said nothing.
THIS HAS ALL CHANGED.
They’re now offering their fans the chance to sell their merch, eat Christmas dinner with them and play XBox with them. However, their fans will have to pay for the pleasure. Yes. Their fans can pay to work for The Blackout.
Yeah, sure, stuff like original signed artwork (£75), a pair of VIP passes (£80) and the chance to actually sing gang vocals (with at least 9 other people) on their next album (£150) are justifiable value for absolute superfans. However, there is umbrage to be taken at the following:
- Play XBox with The Blackout (£30) – We play golf on the XBox with Vernon Kaye all the time for FREE.
- Christmas dinner with The Blackout (£150) – Does that include dinner? DOUBTFUL!
- Be a Roadie for the day (£200) – NOTE: this is not how much they are paying you, this is how much you are paying them.
- Spend a day at Thorpe Park with The Blackout (£100) – Bet they’ll allow you to pay for their tickets as well.
- Sell merch for a day (£75) – See: Be a Roadie for the day
- DJ set at your party (£500) – We are clearly not charging enough for the Thrash Hits Megamix!
In all seriousness, we’re seriously thinking about paying £150 to carry all their equipment around for them for a day. #SRSLY
Listen to The Blackout absolutely demolishing an already shit song
You can also buy one of their smashed guitars for £200.
On a similar note, we share boxer shorts at Thrash Hits HQ and the crotch of our very last pair ripped last Thursday after a terrible evening in the Crobar. It’s yours for a tenner. We can’t afford washing powder so it’s got some authentic Thrash Hits Shit smeared along the back of the gusset.