When we went to listen to Children Of Bodom’s forthcoming album the other week, we caught up with frontman Alexi Laiho and keyboardist Janne Wirman to talk Christmas. Instead, we ended up talking about cockpunches and making Kerry King bleed.
Do you have any particular or unusual Christmas traditions?
Janne Wirman: I have a house, and I’m too lazy to go out to my Mum’s place as she moved to Finland. So I’m in my house all alone of Christmas Eve, but the next day I always invite my immediate family over – my brother, and my cousin, and a couple of good friends – but Christmas Eve I’m just by myself.
Alexi Laiho: Christmas Eve for me is unusual always. I don’t really get to see my Mum and Dad that often, because I’m always on the road or some shit like that.
Janne: I just remembered that couple of years back because I wanted to escape from my family, I spent two or three Christmas’ in New York as I didn’t want to be around Finland at the time.
When did you find out Santa Claus wasn’t real and how did it happen?
Janne: I am 28. You’ve just ruined Christmas for me.
Turkey: are you a leg or breast person?
Alexi: In Finland, we don’t really have turkey – we roll with the ham.
Janne: Breast though. Always the breast though!
Which metaller would you least like to see approaching you with mistletoe?
Janne: Is he even a metal musician?
Watch Thrash Hits TV: Children of Bodom @ Bloodstock 2010:
What would you get Kerry King for Christmas? You can’t choose Jagermeister.
Janne: I would get him a helmet. He’s gotten us wasted like….200 times, but we once got him so drunk that he fell and hit his head and was bleeding.
Alexi: He had this big fucking gash on his head. All his tattoos on his head, and this big fucking gash.
Janne: It was fiunny to see him so wasted that he couldn’t walk, and we were still fine. [cackles]
If a bearded man broke into your house through the chimney on any other day of the year, what would you do?
Alexi: I would juts give him a cockpunch and ask him “who the fuck are you?” Then throw him the fuck out.
Janne: I would offer him a nice quality glass of whiskey, and then ask him “who the fuck are you?”
Alexi: I’m still going with the cockpunch.
Janne: I bet you are. Is it a five-finger cockpunch?
Alexi: Of course!
What’s been your worst New Year’s Eve experience (because NYE always sucks).
Janne: I’ve been to a couple of parties where I hated all the people there.
Alexi: When we 15, 16 or some shit like that, we used to go to downtown Helsinki to these bars full of assholes. This one [New Year’s Eve], I got into at least four fist fights, I got arrested, and then after I was released I didn’t have any money or my cellphone or any of the things that could’ve helped me get home. Yeah, that was pretty bad.
Which one of Santa’s reindeer would you be and why? (Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder, Blitzen and Rudolf.)
Alexi: I only remember Rudolph. I’m still rolling with Rudolph. Because the other ones just sound so girly!
Janne: I’d be Donner, as that one sounds the girliest.
Alexi: More girly than Vixen?!!?
Janne: Oh shit, I fucked it up. Okay, [Alexi] can be Donner. I’m Vixen.
Children Of Bodom will release their seventh studio album, Relentless Reckless Forever, on 07 March 2011, with the single ‘Was It Worth It?’ preceding it on 14 February 2011. The Finns will be returning to the UK in April for a tour where they’ll be supported by fellow Scandinavians, Amon Amarth, and no doubt they’ll also be back during the Summer for a festival show or two.