Dunno which one of The James Cleaver Quintet answered these questions but hot damn he’s a funny one. Puking in a towel at a house party because a girl is doing some sort of fanny dance? Well I never. And he loves arse! EURGH?!
Turkey: leg or breast?
I don’t really like Turkey either way so probably an arse person. Turkey arse.
What is your favourite Christmas drink?
Coffee and Kahlua. But I think that’s more of a ‘Can’t afford to turn the heating on’ drink rather than a specific Christmas drink…
Do you have any particular or unusual Christmas traditions?
Meet up with the family, possibly end up throwing a box of Celebrations at my sister’s face, drowning my sorrows and passing out on the sofa.
What would you get Kerry King for Christmas? You can’t choose Jagermeister.
Some bagpipes so he can re-create that picture and bring joy to one and all.
When did you find out Santa Claus wasn’t real and how did it happen?
When I attacked a fat guy in a red suit with a bat for not bringing me what I wanted and people kept screaming “WHAT ARE YOU DOING! THAT’S NOT THE REAL SANTA! SANTA’S NOT REAL!” But it took a little while to hear them over his screams.
What was your best Christmas present ever?
I can’t remember any that stand out… My Dad gave me a label maker last year though. I labelled the kettle, the oven, my dog, some spanners. Only so much fun you can get out of a label maker really.
If you could have Christmas dinner with any 6 people, who would you invite?
Stephen Fry for some interesting facts; that Stuart guy from the apprentice so I could find out if he is just one elaborate joke; probably Alan Sugar while we’re at it so I could borrow some money off him; Elliot from Scrubs for the face; Will Ferrell for the ROFLs; and Ramsay for the food.
What’s the furthest you’ve ever had to travel to get “home” for Christmas? Has touring ever forced you to celebrate Christmas somewhere else?
No, but we were on tour last year just before Christmas. That involved a lot of pushing the van up icy hills, spinning it round on the spot when we couldn’t push it any further and pulling peoples heads out of the way as they fell on the ice in front of a sliding van.
Which metaller would you least like to see approaching you with mistletoe?
Hetfield. I bet he stinks like a right homeless dude.
If a bearded man broke into your house through the chimney on any other day of the year, what would you do?
I’d admire his strength and sheer determination first, then I’d ask him to leave. He’d probably be tired from smashing through several feet of bricks and concrete so I doubt he’d put up much of a fight.
Which one of Santa’s reindeer would you be and why?
Well they’re all female so it’d be kinda weird to be any of them… Plus I wouldn’t want to drag some fat dude around, dressed like a prick for one night a year. What are you gonna do for the rest of the year? Polish your nose? That’s no way to live.
What’s been your worst New Year’s Eve experience (because NYE always sucks).
Maybe like two years ago, all I remember is some girl ‘dancing’ at a house party by putting her legs behind her head and spinning around on the floor. I’m not sure if that caused me to be sick into a clean towel, then fold it up and put it back but I was and did. Then I passed out outside and some dudes beat my friend up for letting me fall asleep in their garden. Then I eventually fell asleep in a toilet with toilet roll for a pillow and a wet towel for a blanket. Not the one I threw up in mind…
What will your New Year’s Resolution be?
To go to better NYE parties.
Instead of me telling you, I’ll let The JCQ tell about “a full length album, a whole lot of touring and continuing to rock the free world 24/7, 365 days a year. Merry Christmas!” OK.