Gratuitous use of capital letters in the title there, but this crime is so ridiculous we figured we had the right to. According to popular internet celebrity muck-rakers, TMZ.com, D’Arcy Wretzky, former Smashing Pumpkins bassist and subject to a million unrequited 90s teenage grunge-crushes, has been sent to prison for because some of her horses got loose and caused chaos in a local town.

In lieu of any real journalistic effort on our part, we’ll just re-produce the “facts” as TMZ have been reporting them. Allegedly back in 2009, several horse broke free of their enclosures on the farm Wretzky owns in Michigan. The ex-grunge superstar’s neighbours got a bit agitated and called the Fuzz, who apparently then charged Wretzky with the crime of  “Animals Running at Large”. So far, so amazing.

However, it turns out it wasn’t Wretzky’s equine-crimes that have landed her in the slammer. Apparently Wretzky didn’t just not pay the subsequent fine, but she then dodged not one, not two, not three, but four subsequent court dates in relation to paying the fine. As with the UK, the US justice system doesn’t like being dicked about, so Wretzky was locked up. Grunge-revivalists can sleep easy though – Wretzky was only locked up earlier this week, and she’s due out of prison on Monday.

Watch a video that sees D’arcy Wretzky in happier times:

Is this the first time we’ve been able to write a Smashing Pumpkins-related story without having to make reference to Billy Corgan turning into a nutter? Probably.