Hugh Platt is not at all happy with Smash Mouth’s failure to eat all the eggs.
It’s with a heavy heart that I type these words - Smash Mouth have failed to eat all the eggs. If you haven’t a clue what I’m going on about, I suggest you go read our brief summary of why Steve Harwell from the band Smash Mouth was going to eat 24 eggs live on camera before reading below, where I’ll detail how both Steve and Smash Mouth have let themselves down, have let their friends and family down, and most of all, how they have let both you and me down.
First off, Steve Harwell did not eat all the eggs. Instead, he roped in three other people to help him eat the eggs. The first, being a mysterious and suspicious character known as “Rick”. You can see him joining in on the egg scoffing in this video here, shot by Johnny “DocEvil” Titanium, the SomethingAwful columnist that started this whole shebang. Why do we say that “Rick” was suspicious? Well, even from over the other side of the Atlantic, we’d spotted how shify he was while the eggs were still being prepared. Just look at this tweet of mine from when the eggs were still being prepared:
So was “Rick” a ringer, or did Harwell make no attempt to pretend otherwise? Reports are still sketchy. However, it’s something of a moot point, as later on “a vegetarian woman” and Johnny Titanium himself also ate some of the eggs. They didn’t even make any attempt to hide it – Steve Harwell did not eat the eggs. Johnny Titanium has said that Harwell ate “like 8-10 eggs”, which means he possibly only achieved a mere third of the egg-target. Which, we think you have to agree, constitutes a pretty miserable attempt.
Arguably the Smash Mouth hate is compounded by the failure to livestream the egg-scoff. Thousands of rubbernecking internet spectators logged on to StageIt (corporate clogan: “A front row seat to backstage experience!”TM), where Smash Mouth had promised fans unable to travel to San Jose (the site of the egg-scoff) would be able to witness events being live. And of course, it never happened. Thousands of weird internet shut-ins (such as ourselves) were aggrieved with what they saw as StageIt’s failure to hook up the audience with Harwell’s egg-devouring.
At this stage, the left hand is very much blaming the right when it comes to identifying who fucked up in this instance. After initially emailing all the registered viewers that Smash Mouth simply hadn’t shown up to the event – of which the thousands of people who had witness the twitpics and twtvids of the event knew to be false - StageIt claimed that Smash Mouth reneged on their responsibilities when it came to organising the live stream. Then finally, their claim switched to them having “received word from [Smash Mouth's] management [that] they have decided to record the event and upload it later”, and have tried to deflect criticism by weakly directing angry egg fans in the direction of the contact page on Smash Mouth’s official website.
Watch Smash Mouth’s failed attempt to Eat All The Eggs:
In all seriousness though, Smash Mouth’s egg-eating antics helped raise more than $15,000 for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, and for that, we applaud them.