Thrash Hits

December 24th, 2011

Season’s Bleedings 2011: Malefice – Tom Hynes on the voice in Lars Ulrich’s head, and homicidal, naked, large-breasted women

Malefice promo photo 2011 Thrash Hits

We know what you’re thinking. It’s songthing like “Wait, didn’t you already do a Season’s Bleedings for Malefice yesterday? You’re not about to tell us that you forgot to combine the two sets of answers into a single blog post, and now you’re giving Tom Hynes one all to himself? You are? Oh.” Right? Well, it’s Christmas. Cut us some slack! 

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What is your favourite Christmas song?
Easily ‘Fairytale of New York’ by The Pogues. It’s one of the few Christmas songs I can stand, and that actually for me makes me think of Christmas when I hear it. I’m already preparing myself to suppress rage for when I hear nothing but ‘Feed The World’ and ‘Last Christmas’ absolutely everywhere.

What is your favourite Christmas movie?
Probably Home Alone 2. I usually watch it at Christmas every year. The first one’s good and all, but in the second they just managed to improve on it so much. I have no opinion on Home Alone 3 as if it ain’t Macauley Culkin, it ain’t Home Alone – fact!

What is the most metal Christmas present you’ve either given or received?
I received the VHS of S&M by Metallica when I was about 15. The first thing I did that Christmas day was watch it in its entirety and loved every minute of it.

Watch a bit of Metallica S&M and relive Tom’s teenage Christmas:

What is your best memory of 2011?
In the summer we played a small festival in Germany called Traffic Jam. We ended up turning up fifteen minutes before we had to play due to getting lost so had to throw our gear on stage and play as soon as we got there. After that though we got given too much free food and beer and ended up getting utterly smashed, got to drink mead out of a horn which was incredibly metal, had a nice chill out in their shisha tent and got to watch Comeback Kid from the side of the stage. To top it all off at the end of the night the promoters hired a limo for us to take us to our hotel, which was stocked up with even more free booze including a large bottle of Jägermeister which made us feel completely at home. Traffic Jam, you are awesome and thank you for a great time!

What is your favourite album of 2011?
It’s been an odd year for metal, it’s seen some very odd releases in the form of Morbid Angel’s latest album turning in very odd musical direction and Metallica doing something that is nearly incomprehensible and doesn’t really make any sense. Having said that a lot of bands have made great steps forward in improving their sound and pushing their limits. I’ve really enjoyed Xerath’s II and have had the pleasure of seeing them a few times this year, so hats off to them for being album-perfect every time I’ve seen them. I expect with the style they’re pursuing they’ll go very far.

Other honourable mentions go out to Will Haven’s Voir Dire as it’s great to see a band that were around while I was growing up come back with a brilliant album. Textures’ Dualism is another I’ve really enjoyed, their new vocalist has really helped them push their boundaries and expand their sound to something pretty special. Decapitated’s Carnival Is Forever is an album I was really glad to see released considering all the hardships that band has been through and the fact that they’ve made it one of their best albums yet is incredibly reassuring to see that they can fight back from some of the cruel-lest adversity I’ve seen a band go through.

If all those mad prophecies about 2012 being the end of the world comes true, how do you want the apocalypse to manifest itself?
A plague of homicidal naked large-breasted women, obviously.

What will your New Year Resolution be?
I don’t usually bother with them but in the new year I’m gonna do my best to quit smoking as it’s high time I did for the sake of my lungs and my wallet. Also to find a girlfriend that doesn’t drive me insane would be nice.

Corpsepaint Girl Meme Thrash Hits

What role would you take in a nativity play?
Hmmm well when I was younger I was one of the three kings in my school’s nativity play so I’d be happy with that. Of course the main problem would now be finding a crown big enough to fit my substantial Irish bonce into…

2011 has been a year of revolution and upheaval – what do you think will happen in 2012?
I can see more disgruntlement and uproar on the horizon but I’m hoping things will start to change for the better, optimism is something that I feel the world is lacking these days though for justifiable reasons.

Who is the ugliest person you’ve kissed under the mistletoe?
YOU!

What do you think of Lulu?
I’ve avoided listening to it, I’ve heard parts of it and seen clips of them playing it live and have made the decision to avoid it like the plague. Metallica need to stop listening to the voice in Lars’ head and start listening to their fans and peers more if they hope to stay connected with their fan base or risk alienating more of their fans and potential new fans at the same time.

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