Thrash Hits

February 20th, 2012

Maintaining the fine-tradition of Literal Video Treatments: Five Finger Death Punch have a new promo out

Five Finger Death Punch 5FDP 2011 promo photo Thrash Hits

We’ve previously joshed Five Finger Death Punch about their tremendously literal music videos, and we know that plenty of bands do similar things, but there’s something about 5FDP’s dedication to really relentlessly hammering their already thunderously-unsubtle point home with a nuance-free music video that gets us right in the heart, every time.

Oh look, everyone! Five Finger Death Punch have got a new video out! For their track, ‘Remember Everything’! I wonder how it’s turned out?

So yes, Five Finger Death Punch’s new video is yet another example of heavy metal’s history of hilariously literal videos. Check it out below, and then we’ll run through our personal “favourite” moments from it:

Watch the video to ‘Remember Everything’ by 5FDP:

In fact, let’s timecode and bullet-point our favourite moments from the video for easy access! Actually, when we say “favourite bits”, what we really mean is “pretty much the entire bloody video”. OH WELL.

  • 0:23 – 0:32 The-parents-with-baby images to go with “Dear Mother / I loved you…”
  • 0:39 – 0:53 The shots of the boy’s Dad drinking and staring into middle-distance to convey his DISAPPOINTMENT in his son as Ivan Moody sings “Dear Father / Forgive Me / ’cause in your eyes / I just never added up”. Bonus points for the Dad walking away at 0:53
  • 1:00 Big emotional chorus kicks in, and the kid shows how HE DON’T CARE by kicking his toys everywhere.
  • 1:04 – 1:08 TERRIFYING pre-teen arms-wide-open posing
  • 1:08 – 1:13 Comical strobe-light tantrum to convey DEEP SEATED EMOTIONAL PAIN
  • 1:14 – 1:30 MY PARENTS ARE SHOUTING AT ME NOW FEEL MY PAIN
  • 1:37 – 1:47 Teenage emo staring into middle distance? Because nobody understands me, bro!
  • 1:49 – 1:52 EMOTIONAL PAIN! Kudos in particular to the hands-clutched-to-head screaming gesture.
  • 1:56 Uh-oh. Our protagonist has gone and got himself a girlfriend. This isn’t going to end well.
  • 2:10 Is that a burgeoning drinking problem we see? Now’s the time to start staring into the middle-distance again.
  • 2:19 Oh no! Now he’s got marital problems.
  • 2:28 I AM IN MY DARK PLACE NOW.
  • 2:31 5FDP’s oddly-consistent fetish for military imagery kicks into gear as our “hero” goes off to war, and his previously distant spouse gets all sad.
  • 3:01- 3:28 Unsure if our guy is sad because of his ladyfriend’s letter, or because Bros have died in war. (SIDENOTE 2:57 = OSCAR WINNING PERFORMANCE)
  • 3:31 Our guy stoicly stares into middle-distance, this time at a post-war BBQ.
  • 3:38 Hey! Our drinking problem is back!
  • 3:46 In perhaps the most apt visual metaphor for 5FDP’s entire video catalogue, our man manifest the pain of one’s wife leaving you by subtly SMASHING ITESM OF MEANING FROM THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE WITH A MASSIVE SLEDGEHAMMER.
  • 3:58 I have become my father!
  • 4:06 Old-man-death-bed section starts just as Ivan Moody starts to sing “If we could start again / Would that it changed the end…”
  • 4:17 song slows down as the ECG flatlines? CHECK.
  • 4:30 …only for the ECG to start back up again just as the song ends, and the video fades to an image of a child in an empty room, symbolising the return to the cycle to the very beginning? CHECK.

Are we being too unfair on Ivan Moody and co.? Are there other rock or metals bands with an even worse record when it comes to producing music videos so painfully devoid of subtlety? Drop us a comment down below.

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