Thrash Hits

March 7th, 2012

You Me At Six were commissioned to write a song about a rollercoaster. GTFO.

Hugh Platt is a bitter, old man, but he’s not as clever as he thinks he is. You Me At Six have just confused the hell out of him, for example.

You Me At Six YMA6 The Swarm Thorpe Park WTF Thrash Hits

I now this got announced yesterday, and really, given our form at irritating fans of You Me At Six by repeatedly not providing them with the uncritically-positive reviews their fanbase craves, we probably should’ve been on this sooner but someone somewhere in Thorpe Park’s PR department thought it was a good idea to give You Me At Six money to write a song about their new rollercoaster.

In other news, humankind are apparently still the dominant species on planet Earth, which remain the only known object in the entire cosmos where life has been proven to exist.

Speaking to the guys at NME.com, YMAS guitarist Max Helyer said this regarding his band writing the “official” song to go with “The Swarm“:

“The people from Thorpe Park approached us and asked us if we’d like to do it. We were all over the moon about it because we’ve all been to Thorpe Park loads of times with our families and friends and we’ve got loads of good memories of being there. We had a meeting and got a brief about the ride and went off and wrote the track.

It’s basically about the end of the world and the ride is full of near misses and loads of near hits. It’s Europe’s tallest winged rollercoaster in the world and Thorpe Park told us it was going to be very scary, so we decided we’d rock it up a little bit more, make it a bit more heavier and a bit hairier. It’s a bit like ‘Bite My Tongue’, but without screaming. It’s a massive epic rock song, it’s definitely got aggression, and it’s definitely got edge.”

Meanwhile, Rafael McDonnell, the Senior Vice President of Brand Partnerships, Licensing and Synchonization for Europe and Rest of the World (to give him his full job title at YMAS’ record label, EMI), said this to Billboard Magazine:

“The band came to see the ride being built in December to see what it would be like. They wanted to get a feel for it because they believed it would help them get into the right mind set for writing the song…For this one, Thorpe Park approached us and we sat down with them eight months before to discuss collaboration between the artist and the ride.”

Continue to feel the contradictory tone of this blog post by watching the “official trailer” for “The Swarm”:

McDonnell also apparently went on to explain to Billboard that “the band’s teenage audience fit Thorpe Park’s 16 to 34-year-old demographics”. He went on to expand of this concept while explaining the partnership to UK-based music industry news-types, CMU:

“This partnership between Thorpe Park, EMI Music and You Me At Six is a great example of how brands can work together with the music industry to creative innovative content and marketing. The band have written a great track and the strategic fit between the tone and feel of The Swarm rollercoaster and You Me At Six makes this a perfect collaboration which benefits everyone in this partnership.”

I don’t want to turn in a moronic “BANDS SELLING OUT!!!!1!!” blog because 1) shut up, and 2) it’s 2012, and licensing, synchronisation and publishing are an enormous part of being a successful band even if you’ve got only the most modest of eyes on more mainstream music audiences. In fact, they’re even more so than they’ve ever been as far as record labels (or more precisely, their publishing arms) and the relationships they have with their bands are concerned. Every band has a balance sheet at their label, and if the bottom line spends more time in the red than it does in the black…well…that’s why bands get dropped.

But writing a song for a rollercoaster? A FUCKING ROLLERCOASTER? C’mon guys, I know Thrash Hits has said some harsh words about you in the past, but you’re better than this. I repeat: You’re Better Than This. To get some perspective on just depressingly awful I think that things like this have come to pass, look at it this way – even though I agree with every single point against you that Mischa Pearlman expertly articulated in those reviews of his, I am still able to say, hand-on-heart, on my grandmother’s grave, that you, the band known as You Me At Six, are better than this bullshit. YMAS fans, just take a second to think about that before you get your comment-flaming going.

Then again, you could take the perspective that I’m the poor sap who’s been prompted into blogging about (and therefore further publicising) the mangled meeting of minds between You Me At Six, their publisher, and Thorpe Park. I guess all three of them can say they scored a goal in that regard – they got us talking about this ridiculous state of affairs, right?

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(Apologies to Total Thorpe Park for nicking one of their photos for our mangled Photoshop monstrosity above.

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