With extreme metal having a bit of a blinding year so far, we thought this would give us the perfect opportunity/excuse to celebrate/poke fun at some of the most mortally offensive, blasphemous, gory, violent, sadistic and generally nasty song titles 2012 has thrown up. It also gives us a chance to put together one of our thoroughly researched, essential Top 6s. There’s probably a load of nasty shit we’ve missed or that’s not around yet, so leave any suggestions down the bottom and we’ll do another one come the end of the year with any we overlooked. And yes, of course Cannibal Corpse made it into the list.
1) Cannibal Corpse – ‘Followed Home Then Killed’
There wasn’t a chance in hell the godfathers of gore wouldn’t have an entry on here, was there? Torture was predictably ace, and came with the usual plethora of song titles to upset people. It was a close run thing between this, ‘As Deep As The Knife Will Go‘ and ‘The Strangulation Chair‘, but there’s something especially nasty about the bluntness of ‘Followed Home Then Killed‘ that’s especially menacing. Well done the ‘Corpse.
2) Wolfbrigade – ‘On Your Knees… In Misery’
The Swedish crust brigade were off to a winner with the first half of the title, but the ‘… In Misery‘ bit makes it art. The sentiment is so totally depressing it could only really come from a nation which spends four months of the year in total darkness. The album Damned is tasty too.
3) Cattle Decapitation – ‘A Living, Breathing Piece Of Defecating Meat’
Travis Ryan may have the most horrible voice in grind (and that’s an achievement in itself) but he’s gone one step further with Monolith Of Inhumanity, and this title that basically describes a living creature as food that shits only adds to the horror. It sounds like something Jeremy Kyle would say to one of his less laudable guests too.
4) Kraanium – ‘Coprophagial Asphyxia’
These Norwegian brutal death metallers’ new album Post Mortal Coil Fixation is basically a gore song titles primer in and of itself. This whole top six could have been drawn from it, but there’s something about the idea of choking to death on the shit you’re eating that makes “necro” seem an inadequate description. Gloriously obscene.
5) King – ‘Kill The Posers Like Fucking Christians’
You almost don’t know where to begin with this one from the Colombians. It’s violent, it’s offensive to Christians, it has the word “fuck” in the title and it sounds like it was written by a bunch of 16-year-old boys who haven’t got why black metal’s funny yet and are still cross about Bon Jovi’s existence. This is a special level of necro that came very close to winning. It took a real veteran bunch of blasphemers to keep them off the top slot.
6) Marduk – ‘Hail Mary (Piss-soaked Genuflection)’
Whenever you really need something disgusting, profane and religiously offensive, call Marduk. They’ll sear your ears black and leave your vicar speechless with apoplexy. The actual count of offensive words in the title is pretty small – it’s the unsubtle insertion of the ‘…Piss-soaked…‘ qualification that turns an otherwise innocuous phrase into a mortally heretical one. That kind of baiting is masterful.
Necro Deathmort – ‘Wretched Hag‘
Asphyx – ‘We Doom You To Death‘
16 – ‘Bowels Of A Baby Killer‘
Dying Fetus – ‘Subjected To A Beating‘
Aborted – ‘Our Father, Who Art Of Feces‘
Natron – ‘Morgue Feast‘