What’s going on? The world’s finest alternative pop star, Avril Lavigne and the world’s finest Nickelback singer, Chad Kroeger have been boning hard enough and frequently enough that they want to keep doing it forever and ever. They’re getting married.
What you see above is what their children will look like. It’s not an artist’s impression. It’s a fact. Notice how both images look like Nic Cage.
On a serious note, know that our Nickelback baiting is entirely in jest. For all of you who love[d] Roadrunner Records (RIP, pretty much), it was the huge sales of Nickelback’s mainly awesome soft hard rock albums that allowed so many cool metal albums to be released and so many cool metal people to remain employed despite cool metal albums not making much money.
In other news, ‘The Underground Man’ – the Pig Destroyer song that was aired on the mighty Radio 1 Rock Show by Daniel P Carter – has been ripped and streamed for illegal use on the internet. You’re not stupid enough to listen to this and not buy the album, though, so it’s ok.
It’s nice when Marilyn Manson releases a video, isn’t it. There are always going to boobs. The video for ‘Slo-Mo-Tion’ is taken from his new album and has a lot of slow motion footage in it. Fancy that.
Converge begin touring the UK in November with Touche Amore, A Storm of Light, and The Secret. That’s good news too.
25 London Koko
26 Birmingham O2 Academy
27 Colchester Arts Centre
28 Glasgow Classic Grand
29 Manchester Academy
30 Dublin The Button Factory
01 Brighton Concorde 2