Thrash Hits

December 17th, 2012

GREATEST HITS OF 2012 no.1: Blessed By Some Broken Butthurt

Blessed By A Broken Heart 2012 promo photo Thrash Hits

With 2012 drawing to a close, our album of the year lists done and dusted, we’re turning out attention this week to Thrash Hits’ own, personal Greatest Hits of 2012. We’re talking about the things we published that got the biggest reactions, the most views, that stirred the pot the most, and quite frankly, the articles we got a buzz out of publishing. For the first of this week’s look-back, we’re winding back all the way to January, for Tom Doyle’s review of Blessed By A Broken Heart’s Feel The Power.

Now Tom Doyle has form for unintentionally getting bands’ backs up with his album reviews, but we have to agree with his assessment that “if you want hackneyed glam metal with a smattering of below par breakdowns, go and get your head examined” in relation to Blessed By A Broken Heart’s most recent collection of nonsense in the guise of an album. However, when the band read it, they didn’t quite see eye to eye, and took it to those oh-so-objective of critics – their own Facebook fans – to see if they couldn’t get Tom’s review reassessed:

Blessed By A Broken Heart LOL Thrash Hits

What happened next? Well, 86 comments (and counting) displaying varying levels of idiocy, blind hero worship, and badly-phrased insults aimed at our man Tom Doyle. Click here to check them out in full – our personal favourite is the guy who said he’d “clearly been taking dicks up his arse for too long”. Way to go, homophobe!

So without any further ado, let’s look back at the review that caused all this butthurt in the first place:

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Blessed By A Broken Heart
Feel The Power
Tooth & Nail / Rude Records
30 January 2012

by Tom Doyle

For about five minutes back in the mid 2000s, Blessed By A Broken Heart were one of those bands that looked like they could’ve been absolutely massive in the UK. Shows with the then-hot-ticket Enter Shikari ensured they were in the right place at the right time, but they have struggled to convert that potential into a solid UK fanbase, concentrating harder on the US market where fans seem more willing to lap up their glam rock/mosh schtick. Their third album, FEEL THE POWER (hilariously capitalised on the promo copy we received at Thrash Hits HQ, along with ALL THE TRACK TITLES), is surely their last chance to ‘crack’ the UK. Have they got a hope? In short, no.

Blessed By A Broken Heart Feel The Power album cover artwork packshot 400px Thrash Hits

There are several reasons for this, the first by far the most glaring. On previous efforts BBABH seemed to have had at least some sense of humour about their ridiculous spandex and bandannas nonsense (see the Mr Roboto middle 8 of ‘Move Your Body‘), but on FEEL THE POWER that is all thrown out the window for a remarkably po-faced approach, which robs the whole experience of any fun that the band might once have offered. FEEL THE POWER lacks the bounce and knowing swagger which characterised their previous efforts and you get the sense that in trying to move away from being a playful, tongue-in-cheek act to more serious terrain (which their undeniable musical ability certainly does warrant) the band have actually jettisoned the main thing which once made them an appealing prospect.

The other serious problem with this record is the production, which is so ridiculously shiny that opticians advise that you don’t look directly at it. If you can find me a more painful 6 seconds of music that the opening refrain of ‘Forever’, I will happily clean your house for a week and buy you some better albums to listen to. Meanwhile, ‘I’ve Got You’ genuinely sounds like The Backstreet Boys circa 1999 – it is, in a word, dog shit. Actually, that boy band comparison is a valid one here – FEEL THE POWER is an album which is so manufactured, polished, laced with saccharine harmonies and over the top  histrionics that it would come as little surprise if we discovered that BBABH have been taking tips from Simon Cowell in their bid to get to the top.

Yet no amount of veneer and spit-shine can make up for the fact that actually, FEEL THE POWER lacks the really big choruses that you need to make this sort of thing work even as a guilty pleasure. They seem to have been replaced by guitar solos which whilst technically proficient often feel like they go on for several bars too long and will leave you wondering why such able players debase themselves by being part of a project with so little musical or artistic integrity.

Watch the video to ‘Forever’ by Blessed By A Broken Heart:

The bottom line is that if you want cock-rock piss-take fun, go and buy a Steel Panther album, and if you want hackneyed glam metal with a smattering of below par breakdowns, go and get your head examined. Teenage rock fans in the UK are much more savvy than to fall for this sort of thing, preferring the more streetwise sounds of the likes of Enter Shikari, the songwriting nous of Deaf Havana, or even the grittier slash’n’burn of Architects and Your Demise. BBABH seem destined to stay in the States where they can get away with being as sanitised and toothless as FEEL THE POWER makes them seem unless they can quickly remember to start having a big of a laugh again and stop writing songs that could easily make it onto a Jonas Brothers record.

2/6

Sounds Like: LostProphets, Nick Carter
Standout Track: SHUT UP AND ROCK!

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We’ll be publishing more of our Greatest Hits of 2012 throughout the week – and they won’t all be shit-stirrers, we promise. Well, not all of them, at any rate….


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