Thy Art Is Murder
01 April 2013
by Tom Doyle
Did you know that Thy Art Is Murder are Michel Roux Jr and Gregg Wallace’s favourite deathcore band? In fact the New South Wales natives have made several appearances on Australian Masterchef and apparently make a smashing Eggs Benedict. With that in mind, lets get down to talking about the culinary mosh-melange that is their new record Hate (which is also the name of a kind of traditional Aussie consommé, I think).
Prep: The best way you prep up your portion of Hate in by listening to some Black Dahlia Murder records to get your juices flowing. Probably not the really good ones like Deflorate of Ritual (because you don’t compare your mum’s Sunday Roast to a trip to The Fat Duck), but those delicious death metal vibes should get your taste buds jumping. If you can’t find any BDM in your local supermarket then anything with a good high / low vocal style will do, Slaughter of The Soul perhaps. I don’t mind, wazz it up like Jamie is always telling you to.
Also, do some star jumps. Star jumps are good to loosen you up, and this record will sure as shit loosen you up.
Cooking: First thing to do in the cooking process proper is to get an orange and put it in your right hand. Grip it tight so your fingers forms a ‘claw like’ shape. Now remove the orange. This hand shape will help you channel the sort of necro vibes that you will need to deal with crushing tracks like ‘The Purest Strain of Hate’ and ‘Doomed from Birth’ – make sure you maintain it for the duration.
Head out into the dining area and ask any guests you have how they would like their Hate cooked. Then ignore whatever they say and serve it red raw, still dripping with blood, it is a record that is full of animal aggression and feral fury. If you really need to warm it up then start a fire, preferably with the bones of some humans (again, you might have to go a specialist rather than Sainsbury’s).
Serving: Now you’ve got this dish of slammy deathcore simmering away, it is time to set your table. Because what you’ve prepared – whilst delicious – is a little derivative and occasionally a bit light in terms of songwriting skill, you will probably want a decent bottle of wine to match it up with. A good Cabernet Sauvignon or the blood of a virgin, perhaps.
Watch the video to ‘Reign Of Darkness’ by Thy Art Is Murder:
Side Dishes: This is a record that just invites you to make some sides. There’s a brilliant bit at the end of ‘Defective Breed’ where vocalist CJ McMahon roars “KNEAD BEFORE THE KING OF HELL” followed by the sort of juddering breakdown that is perfect to work some dough for a lovely loaf of focaccia to. Tasty.
Whatever you are looking for in a meal, Hate should satisfy your hunger. It might not be a full three Michelin star feast of Blumenthal-ian originality but if you like it filthy and dripping in rage then this will hit the spot like a kebab after 7 pints of Old Rosie.
Oh, and if you want something to eat after, allow me to suggest a tarte au citron. THY TARTE IS MURDER (sorry).
4 AA rosettes/6
Tastes Like: Whitechapel, Black Dahlia Murder
Standout Flavours: Reign of Darkness, Defective Breed, Doomed from Birth