Pulling people up on their spelling is a dick move – we get people referring to us as ‘Trash Hits’ all the time, after all – but Heavy Metal is a religion to almost 41,000 people and, as such, ought to be taken very, very seriously. That’s why, while trawling Facebook for some rubbish about Megadeth’s new album using our stupid, massive sausage fingers, we came across something that blew our puny minds. That led us to do some keyboard-oriented experimenting.
Warning: None of the below is cool. No.
Megadeth
Megadeth are a popular band, right? They’ve sold over 50 million albums over their career and have over six million fans on Facebook. That’s a pretty big deal!
Let’s take a closer look at that one. Megadeath? Really? 164,143 Megadeth fans have clicked Like on Megadeath? The name is a bastardisation of ‘megadeath’ – a term used by Democrat senator, Alan Cranston in a leaflet that Mustaine read after being booted out of Mettalica [sic – you’ll get it in a sec], but that is the point…
In all fairness, how can the band’s fans be expected to get it right when the music industry professionals at NME can’t even spell Megadeth’s (or Rammstein’s or Mastodon’s) name correctly?
Fuck it. ‘Megadeath’ isn’t even the worst…
Metallica
Yeah. Metallica. 30+ million fans on Facebook and they actually contained the word ‘METAL’ in their name. They’re the biggest metal band in the world. They’re the most well-known metal band in history. They play festivals to normal people who don’t have metal haircuts, black t-shirts and denim jackets with the sleeves cut off. Metallica are Metallica. That’s why this is baffling.
Let’s just take a second to think about 265,390 Metallica fans sitting there in front of their computer, knowing that one of the letters happens twice in row but not knowing exactly which letter. They decide on the T.
This also means… THEY DON’T KNOW HOW TO SPELL METAL. Or probably their own name. This is beyond sad.
Slayer
What can you say about Slayer? Apparently, you can say this: