This is a notice found taped to a temporary wall backstage at Download Festival 2013 for the benefit of any security guards with the temerity to ask Jared Leto or co WTF they’re doing there and whoTF that is they’re taking into their cabin.
Where are you going, my pretty maid?
I’m going a milking, sir, she said.
May I go with you, my pretty maid?
You’re kindly welcome, sir, she said.
What is your father, my pretty maid?
My father’s a farmer, sir, she said.
What is your fortune, my pretty maid?
My face is my fortune, sir, she said.
Then I won’t marry you, my pretty maid.
Nobody asked you, sir, she said.
Photo courtesy of about a dozen music industry bigwigs left speechless by Jared Leto’s ineffable backstage chutzpah.