Thrash Hits

December 6th, 2013

“I f*cking hate Blink 182.” – Reading & Leeds 2014 headliners don’t satisfy all

When the Reading & Leeds Festival line-up was announced and Blink 182 were the first headliners to be unveiled, a lot of people were grateful that it was a rock-oriented band even if they are a reformed dinosaur rather than anything fresh. Tomas Doyle, however, didn’t take any positives from it at all and so he mounted his soapbox once again…

blink 182 2013 thrash hits band promo photo

I fucking hate Blink 182. “Oh how can you hate Blink 182, Tom? They’re a really big and important band and that.” First things first, loads of stuff is big, that doesn’t make it important. Michael McIntyre is big but at an artistic level he is colossally unimportant and colossally unfunny – just like Blink 182.

The announcement that the idiotic three-piece will headlining next years Reading and Leeds Festivals has once again brought loads of people out of the woodwork who think that three men in their late 30s (Mark Hoppus is 41!) who still tell dick jokes on stage are the best thing ever. It is important to realise that when people discuss how punk used to be an important, socially progressive counter culture and that nowadays it is basically a bunch of middle class brats calling each other ‘fags’ on the internet what they are talking about is Blink 182’s influence. Before the ‘hilariously’ titled Enema Of The State came lumbering into view just before the turn of the millennium, the funny punk band were NOFX. You remember NOFX, right – the politically aware, dryly satirical, take-a-pop-at-the-social-elite skatepunks who shit incredible tunes for breakfast? Well, they got superseded by the American Pie soundtrack. Great.

As soon as ‘What’s My Age Again’ hit, it wasn’t about being aware any more, it wasn’t about being an outsider and it certainly wasn’t about trying to make a difference in any palpable way. It was about dumb fuck fratboy-isms, casual misogyny and really, really bad vocals. The negative influence of Blink 182 on punk culture in the mainstream cannot be underestimated. Whenever the kids at school who wouldn’t know ‘When I Come Around’ from ‘Number of the Beast’ started push moshing to ‘All The Small Things’ at the local disco you could feel the notion of music having any message crumbling before your eyes.

When people liken Blink 182 to New Found Glory or The Offspring or – worst of all – Green Day, I shudder the deepest of shudders. For all their faults in recent years (and there are plenty of ’em) Billie Joe and co have never sold themselves on childishness for childishnesses sake. They sold themselves on brilliant songs with a bite in their edge and a glint in their eye. Contrast that with an album called Take Off Your Pants and Jacket and what you’ve basically got is Bill Hicks versus Andrew Dice Clay. It is barely even a contest.

Aside from their no brow, brain-rotting humour and counter-culturally corrosive teenage boy posturing, Blink’s musical output was also critically lacking. That at some point during the recording of ‘I Miss You’ someone didn’t turn to Tom DeLonge and ask, “Bro, what the fuck is up with your voice?!” is baffling beyond all logical thought. The moment he arrives, mewling and whining in the second verse of that song is the aural equivalent of walking in on your parents engaged in a game of hide the saveloy. Distressing and emotionally scarring, you just want to run away from it and hope the pain eventually fades.

So whether we’re talking about their sonically sub-par ‘serious’ phase, or their utterly see through LOLOL phase, Blink 182 are a band I love to hate. Their indelible mark on late ’90s and early ’00s popular punk culture was not a positive one, it entrenched the genre with sexism and a gleeful idiocy that is the antithesis of what punk rock ought to stand for. They sit as traitors to a cause who climbed to the top by effectively burning a lot of what went before them. Some people would try and argue that a generation of bands were influenced by Blink’s success, but the reality is that all the best poppy punk of the noughties, from MCR to Fall Out Boy, finds its lineage in more disparate routes than that. One can only assume that the people who were most directly affected by Blink didn’t have the gumption to pick up guitars themselves because they were too busy bog rolling houses.

Not only are Blink 182 not a good band but they are band who deserve your contempt. Fuck them and the horse they rode in on.


Comments

  • IZZIT

    Don’t go then you turd

    • DJ Luck And MC Neat

      Funny as you use the word turd, and you also bog roll houses for a living you shill

      • Jagi

        so funny, so clever.

  • Graham Hulbert

    Here here! Your points here are bang on in my opinion! I had perhaps vainly thought that the sweaty, posturing and inane talentless pus globule that is Blink 182 had been popped and splatted on the mirror of obscurity, ready to be wiped away by the jay cloth of good taste, but alas!

  • Robert Ramsay

    So basically, Blink 182 are the punk version of “Freddie and the Dreamers”?

  • you’rethebestatwriting

    I love you.

  • Ollie

    This is a really excellent read, but I feel compelled to point out that although ADC was far more crude and obstreperous than Hicks, Hicks still employed mysogynistic humour on occasion. His legions of devotees, whose sense of humour evidently hasn’t evolved past their Sixth Form days (possibly alongside a fervent adoration of Morrissey and Che Guevara) would have you believe he’s a legitimate candidate for canonisation – but his ills were still pravelent, just more subduloous than ADC’s.
    TL;DR – Blink-182 are fucking dreadful, and pop-punk is the musical equivalent of monkeys slinging fecal matter at each other.

    • Ollie

      Not sure what the hell happened to my spelling in that last sentence. *hides hipflask*

    • Tom

      Obstreperous? Subdulous? Looks like we’ve got ourselves a reader…

      • Ollie

        Hence elevating me above the standard intellectual level of your average Blink-182 fan.

      • Adam

        Finding enjoyment in simple, catchy tunes doesn’t warrant lack of intelligence.

      • Tom

        because EVERYTHING I listen to has to be ‘challenging’. Jesus, get the fuck off your high horse.

  • Jonny L Vacca

    I love how this article is completely unbiased and impartial and completely complies with journalism law said no reader ever, if nobody liked the band they wouldn’t be as big as they are and they certainly wouldn’t be headlining, if you don’t like them don’t go and see them

    • Ben

      I love how every internet rant is accompanied by someone really boring saying “Oh, well don’t go then” or “Oh, well don’t listen to it” or “Oh, well don’t watch it”, etc.

      Shockingly, negativity is not a disease. If you don’t like people ranting about stuff then you’re probably the one who shouldn’t be doing something, i.e. reading an article entitled “I f*cking hate Blink-182”, much less commenting on it.

      See what happened there?

      • John

        How would he know if this “I f*cking hate Blink-182” article was good or not? He had to read it. You’re a fucking idiot.

        Do you think you’re the only one who can have an opinion about something? This is not a concert, this is a fucking article. He can say what he think about this fucking “article”.

        And as he said, if you don’t like them, don’t go to the concert. Simple as that.

      • Ben

        Unfortunately it would seem you are the idiot given that you totally misunderstood the point of my comment. I obviously meant that if you don’t like rants then you shouldn’t go on an article entitled “I f*cking hate Blink-182”. The quality of the writing has nothing to do with it.

        Also plus points for falling for the whole “Why do you think you can slate someone else’s opinion?” whilst slating my opinion of his opinion. Really clever arguing there.

  • Mick McMenemie

    Fuck it. Dude Ranch is a cracking pop-punk album

  • Blink 182 were rotten then and they’re rotten now.

    Unfortunately, and partly because of them, we’re living in a post-Pop Punk world that’s inhabitated by a sub-culture of misogynists and eternal manchilds.

  • DudeUK

    Wow, the guy writing this has completely missed the point with Blink. I don’t think they were ever trying to be punk or serious band – they are just a fun band writing some damn catchy songs. It would be boring if every band took everything way too seriously kinda like Green Day does.

    • Michael

      Says Travis Barker who denounced Tom for not being a real punk haha haha. You’re wrong, they’re the biggest sellout band of all. Playing music for fans is cool and all but a real musician and punk would only play music for themselves not 12 year old heartbroken scene kids

      • Abit

        No hate here, but if they’re playing music for themselves, why would they sell the records? To spread their music to the people, that’s why, which means they are playing music for people, even 12 yo heartbroken scene kids

  • Thomas

    What an idiot. This made me remember the guys who hate blink-182 only because they thought they were gay. Maybe that’s your frustration – they’re not gay. In fact you look like a child if we compare you to them.

  • Me

    I couldn’t even be assed to read all of this balls. Blink kinda suck, sure, we all know that. Reading? Well, I ain’t fucking going. But guess what – your a cunt too Tom. You know why? Because you think your opinion is worth a read. Well, it isn’t, it’s boring & your a cunt so fuck you, hell, fuck blink if it makes you happy…. But who the fuck are you anyway? You fucking negative prick.

    Hey if any of you love blink and want to see them, then go. Don’t listen to this cock. To me, they are bollox but if you like them’ then you will have a good time – and I’m all up for that.x

    Peace

    Ellis Misnomer.xx

    • Kaydan Howison

      There’s so much irony here i don’t even know where to begin.

  • Major Davis

    Funny they’re a multi millionaire rock piece who are serious, hard working, multi faceted and talented artists and you just write pissy biased rants on a little music website. Guess who I have contempt for now.

    • LOL

      ‘they’re a multi millionaire rock piece who are serious, hard working, multi faceted and talented artists’

      Oh dear

      • James

        “Oh dear”? do you think they’re just blink-182? Go search all they did in their lifes, not just in the music business.

      • James

        And do you think you can achieve this kind of success and still be around if you’re not serious in what you’re doing?

  • Jack

    You sound like a bitter crusty. Well written article. I’d love to know your opinion on the Descendents who were essentially the same thing bite a decade earlier.

    At one point I thought I was growing out of blink in couldn’t listen to their joke songs but as I got older the took on a new meaning for me n

  • RumerStump

    You lost me at the whole Green Day>Blink 182

    Blink don’t really do the whole dick joke thing anymore, and have been phasing it out for some time now. Mark himself has said “I don’t want to be on stage, middle aged making fart jokes”. I’m not really that into them since they hit their “sewious” phase, but I’ll defend their name over Green Day and Billie Joe’s on stage hissy fits, whose not acting their age again sorry?

  • Sam

    I take many of your points on board, and to some extent I agree. Yes, it’s true Tom’s voice is weird, and it’s true their humor is childish, but I think you’re missing the point. blink aren’t a classic rock band, but they’re not supposed to be. Pop-punk one the whole generally does not produce rock classics, but it doesn’t aim to. Bands and fans alike would agree that pop-punk music actively avoids being serious. For the fans at least, pop-punk, and more specifically blink-182 is about letting your hair down, having a laugh and generally enjoying yourself! Hopefully they’ll be plenty of people doing that come blink’s headlining slot at Reading and Leeds!

  • John

    Blink probably wrote this article. This sounds like something they would say about themselves.

  • Robbo

    This is a well written article, and that’s about it. Harry Potter was well written…..doesn’t mean it wasn’t fictional.

  • Brandon

    This is actually a great read. Love the article and the writing despite disagreeing with the thesis. (seriously no sarcasm)

    I think Frat boy should become a protected class btw.

  • jack

    Music elitist douche bag. blink are a great band who don’t take them selves too seriously.

    • jaf91

      Finally someone that understands!!

  • jaf91

    I hate people like this……THEY JUST DONT GET IT AND NEVER WILL!! I listen to the Sex Pistols,Nirvana,NOFX,Germs,Ramones and many others to list but wont but people on this site take it too far and it pisses many people off GOOD LUCK NEXT TIME! Horrible read…..WASTE OF MY TIME!!

  • qq

    I’m pretty sure this article is a parody of music elitism.

  • sid

    You’re an asshole, blink 182 is the best thing that happened to music.

  • Marco Missere

    It’s the worst article I’ve ever read on the Internet. And I surf the Internet since 2000 or 2001.

  • Christian Person

    Had the Album that just said “Blink”. Still bust that out from time to time.. nastaglia. Dude ranch had a CPL cool songs. But yeah..These dudes went to kiddy pop…Fuck it.. Strung Out? Now there’s a band that still kills it.

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