We’ve got a “difficult” relationship with Jared Leto, millionaire movie star and frontman/founder of the inexplicably popular 30 Seconds To Mars. On the one hand, he provides a never-ending conveyor belt of idiocy, pomposity, prima donna behaviour that we never cease tiring taking the piss out of. On the other hand, he’s the millionaire movie star and frontman/founder of the inexplicably popular 30 Seconds To Mars, with a fanbase that relentlessly trawls the internet for mentions of his name, defends even the most arrogant and insulting behaviour of their idol as if it was no more bizarre than making a sandwich, and adds an extra layer of zero-self-awareness comedy to everything we write about the guy.
Wait, what was the downside of Jared Leto’s Wrongs again? Ah, forget it, here’s our Top 6 Favourite Jared Leto moments of 2013.
1) Jared Leto offered fans a chance to sleep in his bed
We’re tackling these in chronological order. First off, Jared Leto ran a competition on his website to sleep in his bed for a night. We should, however, point out that Leto would not be anywhere near said bed when the winner was in it. If anything, that makes it even creepier. We’re pretty sure Jared threw his bed out afterwards.
Read about Jared Leto’s bed here
2) So of course we interviewed Jared about that (and about his beating himself up)
With a new album out on 2013(the ludicrously named Love, Lust, Fiath + Dreams), Jared was working the press run last year. Somehow, we managed to convince his people that we deserved five minutes on the phone with him. Our only regret is that the interview took place so early in the year that he hadn’t done any of the other stupid things on this list yet, so we couldn’t ask him about them. We did ask him about his bloody bed though.
Read the full interview here
3) Then Jared Leto ruined flashmobs for everyone, even though we all know they were already pretty rubbish
Flashmobs are awful, awful things that have thankfully all but died. They were the kind of thing that people who use the words “epic” and “random” between every other word used to indulge in with the vague hope of being included in whatever TV commercial they were inevitably in aid of because being on the telly is the highest thing such people can aspire to. Well, our boy Jared had a flashmb in London last summer, where he and his band played three songs to a whole crowd of people stupid enough to keep encouraging this pillock with their continued adoration.
Look at this avalanche of self-regard
4) He further cemented his bell-endedry with his backstage antics at Download Festival
Jared Leto doesn’t need to wear a pass backstage at music festivals. Everyone at music festivals should already know what he looks like, and let him do what he likes. Don’t you know it’s too difficult to insist he and his bandmates carry around a small rectangular piece of plastic. He’s too busy being a rockstar to do something as gauche as that.
Jared Leto sure does know how to act the arse
5) Then he encouraged his fans to get shitty tattoos of his band’s shitty lyrics
Getting band tattoos is a terrible, terrible idea. To be honest, getting tattoos at all is a pretty big decision (HEY GUY, getting a giant neck tattoo when you’re 22 years old probably seemed like a good idea at time, but c’mon). However, getting a tattoo of a band’s lyrics so said band can use photos of your new tattoos to make a bloody lyric video to one of their songs is so far beyond common sense, we’re not sure we can even muster up any sympathy for anyone brainless enough to have capitulated to this demand from Generalissimo Leto.
Please, please, please don’t get a 30STM tattoo. PLEASE.
6) And then he tried to delete all his old photos from the entire internet and threatened Thrash Hits with some legal action.
Before he had a band and a legion of deranged fans at his beck and call, Jared Leto was a model. And an actor. And as such, there are hundreds of photos of the young Jared Leto all over the internet, wearing/doing things that the older, weirdo rockstar Jared Leto doesn’t want you to see. While most of us have no option but to hope that the evidence of our past that has crept online eventually fades away, few of us have the power, reach, and financial clout of being a multimillionaire. Being a vain, self-regarding millionaire is pretty much Jared’s job description though, which is why he is buying up the rights to as many old photos of himself as he can, and using his legal team to threaten anyone posting them online. He sent us a cease and desist when we published our piece on this practice because, y’know, we used some of the shots he’s trying to eradicate. What a prick.
You can’t look at the pictures anymore as Jared threatened to sue us
RIGHT – that’s us done with 2013. From now on it’s all new and exciting 2014-content for us. You can still wallow in the last twelve months though if you really want to – check out our Top 6 Best Opinion Pieces, Top 6 Best Editorial Pieces, and Top Six News Pieces from 2013 for just that purpose.