Thrash Hits

Bad Band Photo

Bad Band Photos 010: Maxxxwell Carlisle

January 3rd, 2014

We’re pretty sure that “hot-shot shred guitarist and competitive bodybuilder”, Maxxxwell Carlisle, is actually probably too metal for us to feature him on Thrash Hits. His first name has three Xs in it! His own personal logo (yes, he has one) looks like it could cut our dicks off. We’re scared. 

Maxxxwell Carlisle
From: Los Angeles, USA
Actually from: The gym
Age: 30
LOL factor: 4/6 – because he could probably crush our skulls with his biceps
URL: Facebook

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Bad Band Photos 009: Generation Kill

August 22nd, 2013

New York City thrashers, Generation Kill featuring Rob Dukes of Exodus have just signed a worldwide record deal with the mighty metallers at Nuclear Blast, so they sent out a press release along with a photo of the band. So far, so normal…

Generation Kill
From: New York City, USA
Actually from: That annoying bit of Photoshopsville where you can’t quite colourmatch the faces
Age: Old. Too old for this shit, anyway
LOL factor: 4/6 – you won’t notice at first glance, but when you do…
URL: Facebook

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Bad Band Photos 008: Matt Skiba (And The Sekrets)

March 1st, 2012

Matt Skiba is one of our heroes. The frontman of Alkaline Trio (one of our Bands of the Decade) has started a new project with the AFI bassist, Hunter Burgan and the My Chemical Romance touring drummer, Jarrod Alexander. Maybe it’s just something about feather headdresses but…

Matt Skiba
From: Chicago, Illinois, USA
Actually from: Somewhere with loads of peace pipes to smoke ‘stuff’, obviously
Age: 36… it’s a tough age, fashion-wise
LOL factor: 6/6 – he didn’t even inflict it on the other Sekrets
URL: Facebook // Twitter

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Bad Band Photos 007: The Rods

October 22nd, 2011

You know the occasional but regular furore that arises when an already beautiful actress/model/chanteuse is airbushed to within an inch of her butt crack for a big magazine cover shoot? That’s how we feel about this promo photo from The Rods.

The Rods
From: The United States Of America
Actually from: The United States Of Embarrassment
Age: 61 (pre photoshop), 36 (post photoshop)
Cringe factor: 4/6
URL: MySpace.com/TheRodsOfficialSite

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Bands

Bad Band Photos 006: We Died Trying!

September 19th, 2011

This one almost feels a bit mean… but when’s that ever stopped us. Hopefully the guys in this band went on to better things. If so, maybe they could get in touch and explain to us exactly what they were thinking…

We Died Trying!
From: Slough. We think.
Actually from: No idea
Age: 16 (average)
Cringe factor: 5/6
Sounds like: Pyjamacore
URL: N/A

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Bad Band Photos 004: Kids In Glass Houses

June 30th, 2011

Of the bands featured in this fun-pokery, this is the first one that has been absolutely brand new. However, the south Wales pop-rockers have ignored every lesson and have surpassed every expectation with the new promo photo for their new album campaign. Bravo, chaps!

Kids In Glass Houses
From: South Wales
Actually from: A burlesque, rock ‘n’ roll, “Gentlemen Only” owl sanctuary
Age: Difficult mid-20s
LOL factor: 4/6 – one member ain’t buying it
URL: InGoldBlood.com

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Bad Band Photos 001: Diabaka

June 1st, 2011

Occasionally we stumble upon a band with a promo photo that is just so unintentionally hilarious that we have no option but to share it with as much of the world that cares to click on this website. The first in this undoubtedly long, long series is…

Diabaka
From: Space
Actually from: Williamstown, Massachusetts
Age: 34 (combined)
Cringe factor: 5/6
URL: Myspace.com/Diabaka

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Bands