Urgh. You’re probably hungover if you’re reading this. We know there’s nothing anyone wants to do on New Year’s Day other than curl up on the sofa and groan slowly to themselves, cursing whatever lapse in judgment made them agree to do those extra tequila shots just before midnight.
That’s what we’re doing, anyway. We’re trying to soothe our pain away by re-watching the best (worst) heavy metal action film of all time, the superb (awful) Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal. Some dodgy character has uploaded the whole bloody thing to YouTube, so you can join us in this cinematic trip into madness.
What is Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal about?
The long answer: Satanic Marily-Manson-copycat rockstar, Slade Craven, for reason that are never adequately explained, is playing his final ever concert. For more reasons that are never explained, he’s doing it on an aeroplane, and streaming it over the internet. Well, he would, if a gang of Satanic hijackers didn’t have other plans. The only person who can save the plane, the passengers, and maybe even reality as we know it? Slade Craven.
The short answer: the best goddamn B-movie schlock about heavy metal there is.
Shut up and watch this. Thank us later. HAPPY NEW YEAR!