What’s going on? The world’s finest alternative pop star, Avril Lavigne and the world’s finest Nickelback singer, Chad Kroeger have been boning hard enough and frequently enough that they want to keep doing it forever and ever. They’re getting married.
What you see above is what their children will look like. It’s not an artist’s impression. It’s a fact. Notice how both images look like Nic Cage.
As many people have taken issue with Hayley Williams of Paramore as have fallen for her charm over the past couple of years. Emma Edmondson takes a look at the unlikely hero and explains The Paramore effect.
Pop punk is forever getting a bashing from critics. Emo, schmemo, whatever they sigh – it’s full of depthless lyrics.
While others twitter their tunes for teenyboppers wearing black clothes and blacker souls. Yet still the acts get slapped on front covers of mags, despite the editorial staff’s dislike for the music, as hey, guess what – their songs actually sell. Sigh.
We all know it’s an age-old argument that’s duller than Gordon Brown’s latest Prime Minister’s question time (snore…) but it’s often even worse for girls in the bands.
The plain pop world sees women ruling the roost – but when it comes to killer riffs and stage diving boys out number girls ten to one. “You’re a cut price Gwen Stefani,” they cry, “an Avril Lavigne clone,,” they sneer with a tsk or two while pointing their witch-hunt like fingers accusingly.
Watch this critique of ‘Misery Business’ and Paramore’s style
Warning: LOTS OF SHOUTING WITHIN (and a bit of music)
No one hears this more than Hayley Williams from Paramore – the flame-maned front woman of Nashville’s biggest girl fronted group since, well, a long time.
Often dubbed the star of the platinum-selling band (although she doesn’t proclaim herself so and shies away from such labels) as with any press-elected group spokesperson she experiences a media verbal lashing regularly. And unnecessarily.
But the fiery haired heroine doesn’t bend over to take it up the botty hole, so to speak. Last year when Hayley felt her, and her band, were misrepresented in a Kerrang! article the singer spoke out on Paramore’s ‘blog.
Watch Hayley Williams being voted 2nd Most Sexiest (sic) Vocalist in Rock
She said the magazine claimed she was a bossy so and so, the Paramore boys were her bitches and that Hayley happily lets Josh fondle her mammaries.
Ahem, right then. These mutterings, on top of having to handle personal comments about her rather large head (eh?) and general (lack of a curvy) appearance, riled the carrot-haired songstress.
And rightly so. Since when has it been ok for a music magazine to turn all judgemental, women’s-cum-lad’s mag style on us? Talk about Jekyll and Hyde.
Publication-bashing aside, although this war of words is old news, it ignited a fizzle of admiration in me for the fiery singer. And, of course it, and she, didn’t stop there with Hayley continually keeping in touch with her fans and the world through the blogging hemisphere.
Eloquent and opinionated, but not in a preacher like way, if the Paramore lady isn’t a teenage role model in action I don’t know what is. In a world where women are idolised for getting naked and shagging footballers she’s a new age heroine standing up for herself by speaking her mind and writing songs that inspire kids.
She’s got a voice and uses it and herself the rest of Paramore, should be respected and cherished – not beaten to the ground with negative comment sticks.
I mean who would you prefer your little sister or niece to turn out like – Jodie Marsh or Hayley Williams? I know who I’m with, and she sure as hell doesn’t wear a studded belt as a bra and see getting married to a guy she met through an MTV show as normal.
Paramore commence The Final Riot! Tour with special guests Jack’s Mannequin, Phantom Planet and Paper Route on 25 July 2008