Mötley Crüe Dr. Feelgood – Deluxe Edition
21 September 2009
by Luke Morton
With all that’s been said about Mötley Crüe over the years, from the debauchery and drug abuse to the rifts between band members, the music has stayed the same and the band have produced some of the biggest rock anthems of all time. A collection of these are showcased in the 1989 LP Dr. Feelgood which has been revamped into a deluxe edition 20 years after its initial release.
After explaining just why Paramore’s Hayley Williams is ace, the next installment of Hell’s Belles sees Emma Edmondson pondering the disappearance of one of the staples of a rock show’s backstage: the groupie.
Sex and drugs and rock ‘n’ roll. It’s an age-old sought after dream more weathered and decrepid than Jordan’s shrinking silicone tits. Boys in bands crave it. Girls after the boys in bands follow it. But only some truly live it. And now it seems that those few are fast becoming even fewer.
Make no doubt about it – the calibre of true rockin’ and rollin’ gals, or band aids as they’re affectionately labelled in iconic groupie flick Almost Famous, are withering faster than your, or your boyfriend’s, cock might do when thinking of Margaret Thatcher in a thong. Just imagine.
So where have all the real groupies gone? The sixties had Pamela Des Barres and her pals. A self-confessed serial rock star shagger, who even babysat Frank Zappa’s sprogs, she made a career, and found fame, by riding some of the most famous penises in rock history.
Mick Jagger, Jimmy Page, Keith Moon and Jim Morrison all sampled her lower loins. Hell, Ms Des Barres released an album due to her loose legs and even documented her bed hopping ways in a best selling book. That’s big dividends for little work. She wasn’t the last though.
Watch an interview with Pamela Des Barres
The seventies meant punk. And punk is Siouxsie Sioux. Now a recording artist in her own, albeit terrible, right Sioux avidly followed the Sex Pistols before cleverly taking advantage of the media coverage surrounding them and their followers to launch her own band Siouxsie and The Banshees“. And she’s still making money solo style today.
1980 onwards saw the onset of poodle permed cock rockers adopting groupies who were already celebutards. Heather Locklear and Pamela Anderson are just a couple who found true, yet fleeting, love with someone in that Mötley Crüe. And the band’s non-famous groupies were hardcore with a capital H. Don’t know why? Just read The Dirt and you’ll see.
The nineties had Courtney Love. Who, although not fully-fledged band humper as she was already a working musician, dabbled with the Smashing Pumpkins’ Billy Corgan before settling on the late legend who became her husband – Kurt Cobain.
But these music loving laydees seem to have been one offs as we’re now left with a bargain bin selection of groupie girls in the noughties. Most of them seem to have rather well known rock star daddies – and that certainly doesn’t play by the (unwritten) groupie girl book. No fair laydees.
Watch a clip of some groupies talking about being groupies
Let’s look at the options. Probably most infamous of the bunch is that Croydon born fabric-wearing matchstick – Kate Moss. Counting Pete Doherty and The Kills’ Jamie Hince in her long-term relationship history Mossy is the most clichéd of all wannabe groupies, being a supermodel and all.
Other half-mast modern day band fuckers include Paris Hilton who is dating Good Charlotte’s Benji Madden, and last, but not least, that thorn in the British public’s side Peaches Geldof. The fruity-named teen recently made front-page not so jaw-dropping news by shotgun marrying the guitarist from little known schminde band Chester French. Go girl. But he’s not the first of the notches on her band boy bedpost by far.
One thing’s certain – these fakers don’t have anything on their predecessors, especially not the sixties originals. Battling to meet their heroes rather than born into it Pamela Des Barres and co make the Geldof crew seem like a bunch of chastity belted Mozart-loving virgins.
Bring back the originals say I. For although they didn’t have morals they had loads of fun losing them. Plus they have plenty better stories to tell than the champagne swilling groupie pretenders who bought their way into a life some crawled through the gutter to get. And that deserves some kind of warped respect. Right?
Way back in spring 1999, once Kid Rock had already gone multi-platinum Stateside, the ‘All Summer Long’ star made his first trip to London. Ben Myers was there to conduct Kid Rock’s first ever UK interview.
What can you tell me about your early years as a crack dealer?
I was very fucking small time. I was the kid with the vial full of rocks, just hanging out. I used to get kicked out of the house for stupid things. Like my brother would be in drug rehab and I wouldn’t want to go and I’d tell everyone to suck my dick.
I was about fifteen so I’d take my turntables down to the ‘hood where I was known as a DJ. I’d stay for three months, work in a car wash, DJ parties and sell crack. We were just hustling, we could make $100 a day. When you’ve seen the shit go down though, it’s not that funny. When you have a gun pointed at you it’s not funny. When you see a friend get shot, it’s fucked up.
You saw your friend get shot?
My good friend Dada got killed by a drive-by, he caught one in the chest when shot through his window. Also I was living with my two best friends and their Mom was professionally hit in some sort of mob shit, they found her in a trailor with her head and her right arm cut off. Shit like that is fucked up.
Being the only white kid on the rap scene were you treated differently?
I was a really good DJ, I could do all those tricks with my elbows and chin. I was the white kid who could rock the turntables and aint nobody fucked with me. Everyone was really cool. I still hang out down there.
Watch the video to #1 single, ‘All Summer Long’ by Kid Rock
Is Kid Rock on tour as debauched as your public image suggests?
Yeah, but we’re not assholes about it. We don’t get girls naked on the bus and then kick them out. We’re not mean, but yeah all that shit happens…girls shoving bowling pins up them… all that shit.
I suspect stuff that like possibly sound better in print than in reality.
Yeah. You’ve got to careful with ages, so we always check girls’ IDs. I have my sick moral standards. I don’t fuck married women and I don’t fuck guys’ girlfriends. If a girl has a boyfriend I’ll tell her to go get him so he can hang out too. Other than that it’s open season.
I remember one time this hot chick came on the bus and said ‘I want to suck your dick’ and I’m like, ‘Alright!’ I mean, what am I going to say? No? So she ended up coming with me to the next city and it turns out that she’s married. And her husband had sent the police after her. Ain’t my problem though. I mean… whatever.
Kid Rock with ex-wife and former Baywatch star, Pamela Anderson
Isn’t it all bit clichéd?
We don’t hurt people, we just want to get fucked up and have a good time. We don’t like to throw TVs out of windows – we like to fill up the hot-tub and put a bunch of hot girls in there. I’ve got nothing to hide. If you lie and get caught you look dumb. If you catch an actor with a hooker, it’s front page news, but if I’m caught smoking crack with a hooker, I’m some sort of hero. It’s like, ‘Yeah! Alright, Kid Rock!’
Have you made any enemies as a result of your success?
Kids where I live come around. They say ‘Let’s go fuck with Kid Rock’s house’, which I would have done at that age too. So now I’ve got a security guard. They paint my car, they shoot paintballs at my car… no death threats or anything though. What are you gonna do anyway? Motherfuckers killed the president, if they want to get me it’s not going to be that hard…
Rock N Roll Jesus, featuring ‘All Summer Long’ by Kid Rock is out now on Atlantic Records